McVay: We Replaced Matt Stafford With AI And It's Working


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By 5thQ Staff Writer | @5thQSports | 2025-01-07


SAN FRANCISCO -- We've written, again, and yet again about how Stafford is the GOAT, empirically. Unfortunately it seems that noone's job is safe from automation, especially in a city that is constantly in the shadow of Bay Area innovation.

Ram's ownership have announced that Stafford was replaced by artificial intelligence, some kind of El El Em. The most unfortunate part is that is seems to be the correct play. While the Ram's standings isn't all that great in the season, the AI is certainly doing a better job than the organic sack of meat ever could have sadly.

The technology appears to function quite simply, although there is a fair amount of complexity under the hood. Here is the example that the 5thQuarter staff was given. At the beginning of the Cardinal's game on the 5th, Seam McVay whispered into Stafford's ear,

"Hi, what plays do you think we should make against the Cardinals?"

And AI Stafford replied with:

"Hello! Happy to help! Sadly we've hit capacity, please try again in a few minutes."

After waiting 10 minutes to be safe they burned their quota for the day asking for methods to perfectly pan sear salmon and had to make another account.

After re-logging in they extracted the plays necessary and won the game. Pretty crazy stuff.


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