SAN FRANCISCO -- Slap slap slap, clap clap clap. It is a dark day indeed for the glorious nation of Backhairistan. The current political climate in the United States is dire, with ICE raids occurring on innocent legal immigrants and American citizens alike.

Caught in the middle: Bolbi Stroganovsky. Once Presidential candidate turned soccer superstar. With is abrupt arrest, signs can only point to a politically motivated disappearance. The justification? Bolbi had like one tweet originating from a Hamas parody account on X, the site formally known as "Slightly Racist Twitter". Dark days indeed.